THREE: Damned

10/16 Logan, Maine 10:23am

Jon didn't think he'd ever have this woman in his arms again. No matter what had been between them for that slice of time, he'd always known that they weren't allowed to happen. Obligations, loyalty, timing, no matter what you wanted to call it, he and Cam were always going to be just out of each other's realm. And now he had to bring her worst nightmare back into play.

 

And the fight was out of her, and he had to make sure that didn't happen. He held onto her for another minute, closing his eyes against the feel of her. She was still willowy, and the gold of her hair still tangled around his hand like he remembered. She'd let the natural deeper bronze colors come out in the two years since he'd seen her. It was longer, the weight of it tugged at him, making him think of soft white sheets and rainy mornings. To feel it across his chest and thighs, to actually see a smile on her face when it came to him. 

 

He pulled back, and was rewarded with shattered eyes the color of the sky just before the stars came out. Tears dotted her lashes and cheeks, but her eyes were already dry--thank God. But he didn't need to see tears to see the pain and the way she closed up, her hands fisted under her arms, hands disappearing into the heavy, nubby thermal shirt. "I'm sorry, Cam. I didn't want it to be true either."

 

"How?" She wiped at her cheek, leaving a smudge of black across the too pale skin. She twisted her hair, adding soot to her hair now too. She quickly tied her hair at the back of her neck with a rubber band at her wrist. Some things wouldn't change. He remembered her doing just that in the mountains. "Jon, how did you know to come here?"

 

He rubbed his palms on his jeans and held out an arm. "Let's sit, huh?"

 

"I don't want to sit, and I'm sure as hell not going to play polite hostess. What the fuck is going on?"

 

Pressing his lips together, he was glad to hear the lick of heat and anger there in her voice. She'd need the anger. "It's a long story, sweethe--" At her sharp look he cut himself off. "Fine." He crossed his arms. "I've had you under surveylance for the last two years."

 

"You what?"

 

The anger burned brighter in her voice and he stood straighter in defense. He'd done what was necessary to protect her. He wouldn't feel bad about that. Even if she did look at him like he'd stabbed her right in the back. "I'm sorry, Cam. When they dredged the lake and he wasn't found, I just couldn't leave you unprotected."

 

"Who the hell do you think you are?" Her eyes were wild as she looked around the room, out the big window that showed off the coastline, then back to him. "Where? How?"

 

"It's not like that," he began, but shut his mouth when she whirled on him, pushing at his chest. 

 

"You've been spying on me?"

 

He knew it sounded bad, but it had been necessary. And he'd learned long ago that necessary didn't always equal pleasure. He caught her hand,  holding it to his chest. "Please, Cam."

 

She twisted her fingers free, his sweater now as sooty as her face. "Get out."

 

"Sorry, no can do." He brushed at his sweater. "Were you playing in the fireplace or something?" Her dark eyes clouded. He could see the confusion warring with her anger, and pounced. "I'm meeting with a cop later this morning as soon as he gets off shift. He'll be able to tell you more. He's going to meet us here. Then we'll figure out where to go from there."

 

"There's nothting to figure out. I want you out of my house. I'll handle this myself, just like I did before."

 

"Right, and look how that worked out of you?" He knew the words were harsh, but she needed harsh. "He was here, Cam. He was only a few towns over."

 

She shook her head, denial evident in her flight reactions. If he left her she'd be gone in a shot. She'd disappear, he had little doubt about that. And while he knew she was resourceful, Lucas still had his cop background paving his way. Jon understood power, he understood manipulations. He'd been using both as a way to circumvent anything from a tour schedule to his choices in the political arena. He wasn't above using what and who he was to do what he wanted, so he had little problem in using it to help Cam. Even if she didn't want him to. 

 

She put a now shaking hand through her hair and her eyes darted around the room. He could see the fear, hell, he could taste it from across the room. What she must have gone through under his hand was horrific, but he wouldn't let anything like that happen again. He wouldn't allow it to happen, even if he had to pay for a guard for the rest of her natural life. 

 

Lost. It was the only word he could use for her. And she was looking at him as the reason. But if that meant he could keep her safe, then he'd play the bad guy. Fuck the consequences.